Learning From Experience

Some things can be learned only through life experience. For instance, before having children, most people have all kinds of ideas about how kids should be raised, but real parenting wisdom comes from on-the-job training. Navigating office politics, coping with the loss of a spouse, finding friends in a new town, making up after an argument…these are all things that we learn by doing. Life experience is the forge that shapes us and reveals our strengths, limitations, and values.

Sometimes our experiences confirm what we have known all along but didn't fully appreciate. We may have always believed in the importance of family, but this belief can become a bone-deep understanding when we've weathered tragedy or illness through the support of our loved ones. We may know, in an abstract way, that following one's dreams is fulfilling, but we can't truly grasp this idea unless we've found the courage to pursue our own dreams.

Sometimes our experiences force us to revise our beliefs. We may have grown up believing that we were a certain kind of person or that our life would take a certain course, but fate, circumstances, or our own choices can intervene. We may gain a new understanding of what matters to us or what we are capable of doing.

As Marcel Proust put it,

"We don't receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us."

Think of yourself
ten or twenty (or more) years ago.
What do you know now
that you didn't know then?

Share your wisdom. Would you be willing to share your thoughts about how your experiences have shaped you or helped you grow? What are the lessons you have learned from the choices, events, and circumstances of your own life? Your responses will help provide new understanding of what and how we learn from experience. Moreover, many people find that reflecting on their lives in this way is an interesting exercise that leads to new perspective and insight.

If you choose to participate in the Learning form Experience Survey, you can request a summary of the findings.

Privacy protection. Your responses will be used ONLY in the context of this study. Your remarks may be quoted or summarized in books, articles, or web pages presenting the results of this survey, but to protect confidentiality, no real names will be used. You will NOT receive any advertisements or solicitations due to participating in this survey.

Learning From Experience Survey Link

Research director.
The Learning From Experience Survey is being conducted under the auspices of Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD. Dr. Kennedy-Moore is a clinical psychologist (NJ License # 4254, NY License # 015356), who has published articles on coping, emotion, and social relationships.

She received an American Psychological Association dissertation award for her work on causal explanations for mood.

She is the co-author of a book for parents, "The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies To Help Your Child Make Friends" (Little-Brown, 2003),

and a book for mental health professionals, "Expressing Emotion: Myths, Realities, and Therapeutic Strategies" (Guilford Press, 999).